"Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning."
-George Carlin
-George Carlin
Today the high temperature was 104.
The heat is making people crazy.
I work at UAMS in one of the outpatient clinics and today had this exchange with one of our normally rather sane patients.
patient: (irritably) Why am I still waiting?
me: (confused) What?
patient: (more irritably) I said WHY AM I STILL WAITING!
me: (very cautiously) Where are you waiting at?
patient: (now angry) In a damned room, where else would I be waiting?
me: (because I'm stupid and have smart-ass tendencies) Um, I don't know, in the waiting room maybe?
patient: (now considering jumping over the counter and choking me until I turn various shades of purple) I'm SICK of waiting! (She punctuate this with a stomp)
me: (trying desperately to be patient) What time was your appointment?
patient: (scowling) Two o'clock.
me: (bewildered) But it's only one forty-five.
patient: (after staring open-mouthed at me for a moment while mentally digesting my words) But I don't want to wait!
me: Er, well, I'm sure it won't be much longer.
Here is where the conversation falls apart. Usually very calm, very nice patient stomps back into her room then returns holding her chart in her hands. She flings the chart at me, whizzing it past my head at warp speed. I sit in shock as she glares at me and slams through the big metal doors and out of the clinic without seeing her doctor.
Five minutes later...
patient: (peeking in door) I left my purse in the room.
me: (without looking up) Oh, well we already auctioned it off in the waiting room to the other patients who don't mind waiting to see the doctor.
patient: (chagrined) I guess I acted up.
me: (still not looking up) Yep.
patient: (sorry, embarrassed) Can I go back in the room?
me: Yep.
Moral of story? This heat is making people crazy. Come to think of it, I might be one of them.
The heat is making people crazy.
I work at UAMS in one of the outpatient clinics and today had this exchange with one of our normally rather sane patients.
patient: (irritably) Why am I still waiting?
me: (confused) What?
patient: (more irritably) I said WHY AM I STILL WAITING!
me: (very cautiously) Where are you waiting at?
patient: (now angry) In a damned room, where else would I be waiting?
me: (because I'm stupid and have smart-ass tendencies) Um, I don't know, in the waiting room maybe?
patient: (now considering jumping over the counter and choking me until I turn various shades of purple) I'm SICK of waiting! (She punctuate this with a stomp)
me: (trying desperately to be patient) What time was your appointment?
patient: (scowling) Two o'clock.
me: (bewildered) But it's only one forty-five.
patient: (after staring open-mouthed at me for a moment while mentally digesting my words) But I don't want to wait!
me: Er, well, I'm sure it won't be much longer.
Here is where the conversation falls apart. Usually very calm, very nice patient stomps back into her room then returns holding her chart in her hands. She flings the chart at me, whizzing it past my head at warp speed. I sit in shock as she glares at me and slams through the big metal doors and out of the clinic without seeing her doctor.
Five minutes later...
patient: (peeking in door) I left my purse in the room.
me: (without looking up) Oh, well we already auctioned it off in the waiting room to the other patients who don't mind waiting to see the doctor.
patient: (chagrined) I guess I acted up.
me: (still not looking up) Yep.
patient: (sorry, embarrassed) Can I go back in the room?
me: Yep.
Moral of story? This heat is making people crazy. Come to think of it, I might be one of them.
1 comment:
first of all, great title.
second of all, stupid you are not, a teeny tiny bit smart-assy, maybe, but in the best way possible. ;)
i love it. the story made me smile and the twist at the end was too much!!
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